The Scariest Night of Our Lives...

(This story is graphic and detailed but one I have to document!...which is one reason I'm thinking about going private; So I can write freely)

The scariest night of our lives started out pretty normal actually. We went to the "Trolley" in Springville to buy Chelsey a gift certificate for her birthday. They have good wings and we were hungry so naturally we decided to stay and eat. After we ordered we talked about our day and Shane said he started to get signs of a migrane on the golf course that morning. He warned everyone how bad they are and grabbed a coke. He saw spots and then his hand went numb. (Once Shane's hand gets numb then its too late and he needs to get to the hospital...some of you know the severity of these migranes) Miraculously he said it went away! Which has only happened one other time in his life. I thought wow! I wonder why.... Then I told him I was feeling well but I have an intuitive 'uneasy' feeling about the babies and I listened to my heart and called Dr. Gordan to set up an ultrasound. I wanted it asap so they were going to get me in the following morning. The conversation was casual and good. Our server had just barely brought out the food when I felt what I thought was a surge of discharge. (As a pregnant woman I'm paraniod about seeing blood on the toilet paper when I wipe and I always check throughout the day) So, of course, I waited for the server to leave then scooted the chair closer to the table. I put my hand down there to check it out. When I brought it back up my hand was literally covered in the brightest red blood I've ever seen. Immediately I start sobbing as my ultimate worst fear was actually happening to me. Shane was so distraught and kept asking me questions. I brought my hand above the table and showed him the blood which was now running down my wrist. The check was brought out so fast I didn't even know it happened. Shane was helping me up and in a matter of seconds the blood had already soaked through what I was wearing and created a puddle on the seat. With every step I took blood ran down my legs, into my shoes, and trailed behind me as we left the restaurant. I really dont think I've ever been so hysterical and terrified. I realized then that I want these two babies more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life. In the car, Shane called Dr. Gordan who said, "Shane you get her to Orem Community Hospital as fast as you can. It sounds like a severe miscarriage of twins." Shane drove 110mph zipping through traffic, the bike lane, and cautiously ran most red lights. Meanwhile, I'm holding myself up by my elbows because everytime I fully sat down blood would splash out the sides of our white leather seats. I was squeezing Shane's wrist and at this point feeling extremely lightheaded and pale.
Shane carried me into the Emergency Room. I could hardly do anything on my own I was so weak. The ER Dr. was demanding what my bloodtype is as they were getting me set up. Shane told me later that his thoughts went from "we're gonna lose these babies to oh my gosh! I could lose my wife!" Everything happened so fast. The next thing I knew I was on my back and Shane was helping undress me. Golfball size chunks of blood were falling out of me and Shane and I, along with the Doctor, thought for sure they were the twins. The Doc was trying to get the probe to stay in me but it kept pinching and slipping from all the flowing blood. After a few minutes I looked over at Shane. He had his face in his hands and he was crying. I reached out with my other hand to touch him and at that same time the doctor pulled back and said, " Ok, wow! Your cervix is closed. Thats a good sign and the last thing I expected to see." So those golfball size chunks turned out to be very large blood clots. Which is good but still alarmingly scary.
Next, we were headed down the hall for an ultrasound. As I was being wheeled around the corner, all I could think to do was pray; but I didn't know what to pray for. So I asked Heavenly Father to just be with me, very close to me. Shane said he prayed for the strength to get through this and strength to comfort me. The ultrasound guy for some reason didn't know what was going on. He was making small talk for awhile then as polite as I could I asked him if our babies were ok. He felt so bad and finally clued in and said "Oh I'm sorry! Yes! They're healthy and moving around like crazy. Do you want to hear they're heatbeats?" Shane grabbed me and I covered my face and cried for a minute. The guy told Shane how sorry he was and printed off a ton of pictures. By the way Shane said thank you I could tell how emotional he was.
As they wheeled me back to our room our nurse, Connie, said our family was in the waiting room. Bill, Lynn, Chelsey, TJ, Emily, and Brett came walking in with open arms. I was so physically and emotionally drained but felt like crying again when I saw them.
Connie brought the discharge papers and Dr. Gordan told me we're not out of the woods yet-- and I need bedrest/bedrest/bedrest!!! For at least 3 weeks. Dr. Judd said the hard truth is that I still may miscarry but staying down is the best thing for me. I've been averaging 1 ultrasound a week. They'll check my progress when they feel I can come in.
So here I am with a laptop in bed writing about this horrible memory. My mom flies in town today and it feels unbelievabley comforting knowing I have such an amazing support system... everyone who's come to take turns 'babysitting' me and those who've brought presents and yoasis, and groceries! I now have a room full of gorgeous flowers to look at. Thank you! I'm so grateful Shane didn't actually get his migrane. Heavenly Father knows everything before it happens and blesses us in ways we don't even realize!! The truth is I've gained quite a personal testimony of prayer lately. My cousin Erin told me it's amazing how close we become to our Savior through trials. I think this is the closest I've ever been to him.
I'll tell you what-- these spirit children of ours are strong! They want to come to earth, and they're fighting through this....as is the mommy and daddy to be!!