I've finally made my decision...

I'm Going to make my Blog Private!

I've put some serious thought into this. It was a very hard decision for me because my blog has brought me back in touch with so many friends I've lost contact with. So for that I am grateful. I have also really enjoyed some of the "anonymous" comments people have left or others who start out writing "...you don't know me, but..." and to be honest I don't really know how to say this but the truth is I cannot believe how many people have been touched or inspired by this pregnancy of mine. At times I've been amazed to come back to my blog to find so many sweet, unbelievable comments. I'm shocked by how many people comment and even cry. In the beginning of pregnancy I had 60-70ish people comment about a few posts and sometimes I still go back and read the kind words. It's been so captivating and seriously humbling. It's crazy to me how some of you REALLY did help me through your words. I've even made some friends through this experience. My mom is so cute and proud to share the blog address. She tells most all her clients to 'check my daughters blog' and my dad shows people at his office my growing belly progress. Now that our baby girls are arriving this week, I've finally decided now would be the best time to go private. I don't mind any and all people who'd like to continue checking our blog. Which brings up another point. I was talking with Shane tonight and said, "...doesn't it defeat the purpose of going private if you send an invite to everyone who leaves their email?" He said not really because being private will stop the 'crazies' from google-ing our names and such. Good point. Also, I know there are certain few people who check my blog and don't want others to know that they do; so you can send your email address to my email:

trulyashton@yahoo.com

Otherwise, to all the rest of you, please leave us your email address in the comments below. Thanks! Merry Christmas and Wish us luck! We have 3 Dr. appts. this week and we're beyond excited! My emotions are running everywhere and I have zero words to describe this feeling!! I'm sure in my next post I'll be holding these little ones instead of hosting them in my belly!!!!

My second Home...

Back to the hospital for more testing. After our stay last week they put me on strict bedrest over the weekend in hopes that the babies heartrates would go down....IT WORKED!

It's crazy to me...sometimes I stare at these horrible stretchmarks and think back to when I had my buff, flat stomach (that is one thing I will say about myself...I had a great stomach) and the truth is, all I can think about is how excited I am to see these little girls and how seriously worth it it is to have these marks!

The Doctor asked me how active the girls are...Uh seriously? I swear I've got to have worlds most active babies. They are so alive and awake that sometimes I call Dr. Judd because I get so worried about it. Last night Shane put his wallet on my belly and Baby B full on launched it in the air, kicking it right off. We just sat there staring at the wallet on the ground for a minute and then Shane says, "Hmmm, ok!....there just wasn't any money in it!" LOL

My contractions were 11 minutes apart but I had three that were within 5 minutes. I made an agreement with these girls, they just HAVE to stay in until Dr. Judd gets back in town next Monday..But being the amazing guy he is, he made special arrangements with another doctor just in case I go into labor this week. Otherwise I'd have a family practice DO who IHC sent in for the week. Don't get me wrong, this DO is probably great, but Dr. Judd knew our situation needed special attention so he hand picked another OB for us during this week. Has anyone heard of Dr. Wayne Young?? Please do tell...

I really loved the view.....

...but I love being home more!

It's good to be home, I've missed my cats...

...but definitely NOT my bed. The hospital bed was much more comfortable for me at this stage of pregnancy. One of my nurses was telling me not alot of women can complain about having a head literally on their bladder and a butt up on the rightside of the ribs making it hard to breathe. They say one baby simply couldn't reach to those dimensions. This is why I loved that bed. A simple button would sit me right up for all the times I needed to use the bathroom. At home I have to sit myself up and holy cow! Does that hurt.

Here are a few pictures of our little hospital stay: This was just before we found out we were going to be emited into Labor & Delivery and hearing about the girls not gaining much weight. phfew! ...Alot to take in during those few moments

Our little girls! This is a horrible picture because at this point they are so squished and can hardly move around. They wouldn't hold still so it's blurry and poor little baby B was having to suffer through baby A's foot constantly kicking into her face. We couldn't help but laugh...and I still can't believe they're both head down with A's foot in B's face!! (uh somehow the picture got erased, sorry)

After I was settled into our room, Shane had to get a few more hours in at work... (huge Mona Vie thing coming up) when he came back, he walked in holding a box and said it was a surprise... IT WAS MY FAVORITE FRUIT TART FROM MARKET STREET GRILL! Mmmm! We ate what we could then he took the rest to all the nurses. I'm telling you these girls LOVED Shane. They kept coming in to check on us but I swear they just wanted to chat with Shane. I'm not surprised by that one bit.

My little energizer bunny trying to keep me entertained during the wee late hours





Keeping a good look at the babies heartrates, contractions, and my own blood pressure. Any mom out there knows how uncomfortable this is, especially after hours and hours of being strapped in like that. They were doing a 24 hour urine test to see how much protein I have. What a nightmare is was to unhook everything every 45 minutes or so just to go the bathroom. Sometimes I was frantic and couldn't get them off fast enough. Then I'd get to the toilet and hardly anything comes out! What?! Hilarious I tell you... and annoying.

Quick update.....

I'm using my brother in laws lap top here at the hospital. They're keeping us overnight. We thought we were completely out of the woods being 35 weeks and all but I guess not. So disappointing and sad. I had contractions all night long and this morning we came into labor and delivery for our Peri appt only to find out the girls aren't gaining much weight. They only weigh a few ounces more than they did a month ago. They are estimated at only 3 and 1/2 pounds. My fam is coming to give me a blessing with Shane and tomorrow we'll find out for sure how bad my pre eclampsia really is and if we need to get these babies out. Their heart-rates are high and so is mine in combination with the protein in my urine. I want them to stay in and grow! but sometimes what we want isn't whats best. They may have a better chance at growing in the NICU.

I think my Ambien is kicking in soon so I'll sign off. This has been the most difficult year for us and we're so close but every now and then I just don't feel like smiling anymore. Sometimes I just want to cry and Shane has taught me that its ok to do so. I long for the moment when I can hold them, sing to them, and feel this burning peace in my heart because I know in time they WILL be healthy and strong. Only then I can finally stop holding my breath! Thank you to everyone who has been soooo supportive and uplifting. Goodnight.

Tis the Season to be Thankful!

HAPPY HAPPY

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Shane and I were telling each other what we're thankful for in bed the other night and this is a few things I remember both of us saying:

we are THANKFUL FOR...

Science

Atonement

Dr. Richards and successful IVF

Family

Ultrasounds

Health

Stable Busy Job

Our cats

Hand Sanitizer

Modern Medicine

Camera/Technology

America

The Five Senses

&

Stool Softeners

Thanksgiving day we realized we don't have many pics of us together.... being pregnant. Thanks Emily for snapping these at last minute.




We had Thanksgiving with Shane's family this year and although it was fun we were bummed because there wasn't any leftover turkey.

.....SO my parents flew in town the day after and we told them we wish we had leftover turkey for sammiches and next thing you know my mom was busy as a little bee in my kitchen cooking up an entire thanksgiving meal. A Complete Thanksgiving meal?! It was so awesome! Everything homemade, even my favorite country cherry pie....trust me no one can make this as well as my mom!!


My daddy was busy the whole weekend working on the babies room. Saying THANK YOU is never enough for all my parents do for Shane and I.
Please come visit anytime you guys :)

34 Weeks!

Seriously Whoa! Can anyone believe I made it this far?!! Every Doctor I've seen told me there's just no way I'd get to this point. Even Dr. Judd is pleasantly impressed. I have every sign of going early and somehow our little girls are holding out. We had another 'Non Stress Test' today and it went pretty well. I was contracting and had one really big one. It reached up to over 95. Sure didn't feel like it was that high!...Shane and I forget how many people are standing by because when we call family members some usually answer right away in a panic. LOL 'Anytime now'... is the best answer we can give. I'd love to hold out for two more weeks. Sometimes I feel greedy. I've asked my Heavenly father to help me make it to 30 weeks, then 32, then 34....I keep asking for just a little more. And each time, he graciously pours out his blessing for me.

Everything about my body is ready to be done (No really.... I'll update more on that business later this week after my ultrasound) but I want my girls to be 5 pounders so I am willing to do anything to keep them in!!! Absolutely Anything!

33 weeks!

Emily is 20 weeks in this picture. I love being pregnant with her. My little twins get to meet this boy cousin of theirs' in April!