A few very random thoughts

Right now I'm sitting in the family room playing around on my new computer, and I am in love! At the moment I'm waiting for my Easter pictures from Arizona to upload and import then I plan on getting my Easter post up...and talk about cute pictures! Happy Earth Day by the way. Here are a few thoughts...

*I LOVE that the twins room hasn't got even a hint of pink in it. It's pretty much a soft blue with some cream and black. So classy and french looking. I like to just sit in there. Yes, I like pink and I think every little girl should feel pretty in pink with as many bracelets as she'll let you put on her; I just didn't want to have any pink in their bedroom. I realize I've never posted pictures of it. Maybe I will maybe I won't- I feel kind of weird posting pictures of the girls nursery for some reason.

*My little sis in law, Hayley, is getting MARRIED this summer!!!!!

*I LOVE my cousin Toni and Matt and I literally get depressed knowing we only have a couple more weeks with them!

*I find it really interesting and funny that Miss Lindsey Chase has become my easier baby.

*I am so proud of my brother and his wife. They are getting sealed in the Salt Lake Temple next month!

*I don't know how my sister cleans up after and deals with the laundry situation of 7 children! Alot of moms have 7 children yes, but hardly ANY have 7 children under the age 10!!!

*I am in LOVE with running! It's essential to me! After finishing a half marathon I'm thinking I may want to tackle a full one in October. I had the time of my life! (post pics of that soon)

*It's hard for me when women who have one child or even women who have multiple children (but birth them one at a time) think they understand actual twins. (I'm not saying if you don't have twins then your life is easy because motherhood all around is challenging in so many ways and on so many different levels. I'm just saying having two at the same time is all together different than having children one at a time)

*I wish everyday poured rain and thundered the way it did yesterday!

*I'm happy, for Shane that is, that it's golfing weather.... but sad at the same time because that just means we'll be seeing him a little less.

*The girls have seen better days...yesterday I changed crib bedding 4 times, each, and the girls had 6 baths, no joke. Poor Ashton- she was throwing up. She'd follow me around in her diaper as I cleaned up the piles. She was so helpless and thats exactly how I felt too. As I cleaned up one pile, I watched her walk across the room shamefully crying out as she pointed down to another batch of her throw up. When did she do that one...how did I miss that??? And all the while Lindsey had taken off her own diaper because her rash burned her from the constant diarrhea she had. Poo was on the floor and wall. I couldn't have felt worse for them. Is there anything worse than a pitiful, sick, helpless toddler?

*I want to be a better neighbor and I really am trying to do more service.

(my heavy thought for this week)

**Ashton got to stay up 2 hours later than lindsey last night because she threw up late at night. Shane and I FULLY enjoyed watching her and giving her 100% of our attention. On rare occasions we have a situation where we only have one twin to watch and I cannot believe how easy it is. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE having twins, I think I'd even do it again, but the truth is my heart was so peaceful watching Ashton suck on her pedialite popsicle and at the same time my heart hurt because I realized how hard it is to divide my attention between the two of them. I could feel her soaking up all the attention like a sponge. The girls are at such a fun stage and want you to notice everything they do. Everything. Lindsey brings me 15 pair of shoes and all her bracelets and demands I put them on her all day while Ashton screams happily because she wants me to recognize something she accomplished. They are each others right hand and laugh and kiss each other all day long but will turn from each other on a dime when they're competing for space on my lap. One will fall to the ground sobbing if I'm caught dancing or twirling around with just one in my arms. If one wants to go outside and play the other doesn't even get the choice because I can't leave her behind. 90% of my day I'm found singing to both of them, or letting them both stir the cake batter, putting them both down for a nap at the very same time, reading a book to both of them as they sit in my lap, taking them both on a walk, tickling and chasing them both us the stairs, bathing them both at the same time, when one gets upset you better believe all hell breaks lose and they both start crying making it sometimes hard to get to the route of the problem...you get the picture. Trying to show the twins that they're individually important can be an exhilerating challenge, overwhelming task, and sometimes a heart-breaking dilemma. It's very important to me that I recognize Ashton and Lindsey's individual needs and remember they're two totally different people. There isn't a night my head hits the pillow without my feeling some sort of regret or wonder about missing a moment. I have been careful to provide them with different experiences whenever possible and it's remarkable to see how differently they react to situations they like or dislike. I can already see when they are a little bit older how they'll need to be disciplined differently and even praised differently too.

*I received really pretty flowers from Shane yesterday and it was great encouragement and such an emotional boost.

*Does any other mother out there love their children as much as I do?!! I seriously wonder

*I am excited to pick out new patio furniture for the backyard and plant new flowers for the spring.

*I guarantee others who know me well would say I'm a bit over the top when it comes to cleanliness, order, and hygiene. I have to say though; I've been pleasantly impressed with myself when it comes to this subject. I've been able to relax and 'let it go' to some degree. When you're chasing two 16 month olds around and they look up to you with those big 'ol baby blues in hopes you'll let them get away with murder....sometimes they win! Because of course they want to feed themselves the yogurt without the spoons, and throw chunks at each others faces until they've soaked everything within 10 feet of them, and then put whats left in their hair like its shampoo....yes my friends all I can do is stand back, let it happen and laugh.

*I feel very spiritually stable right now and can I just tell you how good that feeling is?!

*The dishwasher is running, the house smells fresh and fruity (I don't know if I can share my secret on where to find the best reed diffusers on the planet) , I have showered and put on a new track suit that Shane got me, I've decided on my dinner and dessert menu for tonight, I ran uphill for several miles this morning, I've been making the girls healthy smoothies in the AM with 'Kefir' and agave nectar and ground up my own flaxseed and they loved it, the laundry is drying and my bed is made. However, my floors look like an army tank plowed in here and emptied all its contents out the back. Chocolate milk to Raisens to baby wipes- you name it!...I feel great though! I deserve to feel this great after such an exhausting 2009!! When the girls wake up we're going to the mall to stretch our legs and look for some summer wear!

*Organization is KEY for me!

My Easter picture will be up soon for those of you who care :)

XOXO